Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm too high and old for this...
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