I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
