she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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