Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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