he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
