So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
