If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize