Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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