And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
