Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
