I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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