i would punch a child for taco bell
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
