he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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