What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
