I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
why does every cop we meet know your name?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
