I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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