So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
