i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
