i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
