the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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