just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize