I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
