I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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