My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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