I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
