i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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