She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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