One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
