so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
