is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
