I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
