And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
