Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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