im having a threesome with these popsicles
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
