when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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