You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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