I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
