Where is the hickey?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
