even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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