He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
