And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
