Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
