The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize