I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
