So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
