Define "chronic" masturbator.
there's paper in my vomit.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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