Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
