I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
