She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
