i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
