He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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