Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
