Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Rumble strips road head = magical
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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