I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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