life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
