no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
