sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
