I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
