went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize