Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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