woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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