Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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