I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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