Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Terrible idea I love it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
