Well douche your snatch and let's go!
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
