Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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