New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
