I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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