You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
