im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So vagazzling was a success
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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