it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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