u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize