So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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