just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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