She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
