After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
